What was the highlight of your year?

What was the highlight of your year? I have been asking that question during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve every year since college. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what the previous twelve months have entailed and how that has affected your life.

This year it has taken on a different meaning for me. In reflecting on this year, ‘highlights’ are not so much the point as ‘life changing events’, and there have been many.

The single biggest event, by any measure, is the loss of a loved one. In my case it was a parent. The implications of that alone made this a life changing year. When we lost Dad to complications of his chemotherapy in May, it was one of the hardest things our family has had to deal with. I have often said “We aren’t the first family to go through this, but it feels like we are…” There simply is no way to prepare for the reality of the absence of a person and the changes that are forced on everyone as a result of his passing.

The emotional toll of grieving aside (I still have most of that bridge to cross), the practical reality of such an event required most of our time. Circumstances demanded that Mom sell the house, an event that took more education in real estate, probate, mortgage banking and law than I’d had in many years. So many decisions, so many details, so many people through Mom’s home. And finally, the closing at the end of October, almost twenty three years to the day after they had moved into the house.

And then Mom moved in with me, a life changing adjustment for both of us to be sure. While I’ve lived alone for many years, she never has. We are dealing with everything from what’s on television to whether it should be on at all. Details, decisions, adjustments…

It hasn’t been without its rewards. I am seeing my mother is ways that I never have before. She is becoming herself, not someone’s wife or mother. She is Gerry and as such has much to offer in a curious mind and compassionate heart. I like the person that I’m meeting as it were for the first time. As she also gets to know me, we are finding common ground and interests, something that I hope continues.

So, I suppose the highlight of my year is gaining an understanding of my mother. Yes, this has been an extraordinary year in many ways, but in reality it has not been an entirely bad one.

"Say to wisdom, "You are my sister,"And call understanding your intimate friend." Proverbs 7:4

The Healing Presence of the Friend...

Lord, my friends are becoming lonely in their days, they need to know the healing touch of Your presence. Please make Yourself known to them in their difficult days.

And the Lord says, “You show them.”

But Lord, I am only an ordinary person, no special talent or place. I am not You. Don’t they need You?

And the Lord says, “You show them Me.”

But Lord, they need to know Your love in their lives. I can’t show them that.

And the Lord says, “You show them My love in their lives.”

But Lord, don’t they need that special touch from You?

And the Lord says, “You give them that touch.”

But Lord, how?

And the Lord says, “You have told them of My love for them. You have shared My heart. I want you now to share the love that I have placed in you. You need only to be present in the crisis. Be at peace with Me. Let them see you as real and loving, flawed and forgiven, human and humble. And trust that they will come to understand Me by the way you live your life.”

"This is My commandment that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends, if you do what I command you." John 15:12-14