What was the highlight of your year?

What was the highlight of your year? I have been asking that question during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve every year since college. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what the previous twelve months have entailed and how that has affected your life.

This year it has taken on a different meaning for me. In reflecting on this year, ‘highlights’ are not so much the point as ‘life changing events’, and there have been many.

The single biggest event, by any measure, is the loss of a loved one. In my case it was a parent. The implications of that alone made this a life changing year. When we lost Dad to complications of his chemotherapy in May, it was one of the hardest things our family has had to deal with. I have often said “We aren’t the first family to go through this, but it feels like we are…” There simply is no way to prepare for the reality of the absence of a person and the changes that are forced on everyone as a result of his passing.

The emotional toll of grieving aside (I still have most of that bridge to cross), the practical reality of such an event required most of our time. Circumstances demanded that Mom sell the house, an event that took more education in real estate, probate, mortgage banking and law than I’d had in many years. So many decisions, so many details, so many people through Mom’s home. And finally, the closing at the end of October, almost twenty three years to the day after they had moved into the house.

And then Mom moved in with me, a life changing adjustment for both of us to be sure. While I’ve lived alone for many years, she never has. We are dealing with everything from what’s on television to whether it should be on at all. Details, decisions, adjustments…

It hasn’t been without its rewards. I am seeing my mother is ways that I never have before. She is becoming herself, not someone’s wife or mother. She is Gerry and as such has much to offer in a curious mind and compassionate heart. I like the person that I’m meeting as it were for the first time. As she also gets to know me, we are finding common ground and interests, something that I hope continues.

So, I suppose the highlight of my year is gaining an understanding of my mother. Yes, this has been an extraordinary year in many ways, but in reality it has not been an entirely bad one.

"Say to wisdom, "You are my sister,"And call understanding your intimate friend." Proverbs 7:4

When God Says 'Wait'...

The postponement of the Godspell opening brought a situation to mind that happened back in 1992.

His name is Stephen and he was one of the pastors at Christ Church in Nashville. I had only been in town about a year and he led the young adults group (known as 20/30 Vision) in which I participated.

Stephen had a problem. He had a recurring brain tumor that needed to be removed. The surgery had taken place in another state and his wife had brought him home to recover, but he wasn’t healing well.

At the same time, I was a first time member of the Christ Church Choir. When I joined the choir, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, until we were invited to back up Dolly Parton on the Country Music Awards. Needless to say, I was excited about participating in a live TV broadcast, although I have to admit being slightly overwhelmed by it all.

These two situations came together early in the same week and God used it to teach me something. The show was scheduled for Thursday and we were to have a rehearsal with Dolly at the Opryhouse on Monday night. If we didn’t make that rehearsal, we were not going to be allowed to sing for the broadcast.

Meanwhile, Stephen was getting sicker. I didn’t know how ill he had gotten, but had been feeling nudges all day long to go to their home and pray for him. This is where I got in my own (and God’s) way. I wasn’t sure in my friendship with them and didn’t feel comfortable approaching the subject. ‘He had lots of people to pray for him, he doesn’t need me,' I thought, 'besides, there’s not time, I have to be at the rehearsal at 7:00.’

That was when the phone calls from my choir section leader, Jackie, began.

Phone call #1.) Dolly lost her voice, but we’re still on.
Phone call #2.) It’s off, but don’t change your plans.
Phone call #3.) It’s not going to happen, enjoy your evening.

Now, no longer having an excuse, I thought maybe God was trying to get my attention. But I was still nervous about approaching Stephen and his wife. Finally getting past myself, I picked up the phone and called the house. To my surprise, the person who answered the phone was Stephen’s mother-in-law. In a bolder move that I was used to at the time, I asked about Stephen and told her about the sense I had to pray for him.

“Honey,” she said, “If Jesus is telling you to come pray, you get your rear end over here and pray!”

I love directness.

So, I began to put my recently kicked off shoes back on and to get ready to go out the door. Just before I left, the phone rang again. It was my choir section leader.

Phone call #4.)“Dolly got into the studio and was able to record her part in case she loses her voice completely. We need you in an hour!”

Now committed praying, I was not going to back out. The Lord had caused the delay to give me time to actually obey the leading He was giving. And so, I went to Stephen’s house.

Much to my surprise, another choir member was also there, a young man named Bob. We arrived within minutes of each other and both went into Stephen’s room with his wife. She leaned over and told him that we were there and asked if we could pray. Weakly, he said yes. Bob and I knelt on either side of the bed, each taking one of Stephen’s hands. He squeezed mine so tightly that it began to hurt, and I realized that he was much sicker than I’d previously known.

And so, Bob and I prayed, asking God for healing and strength for Stephen, and for wisdom for his family. It was only a few minutes, but we both knew that something had to happen. We comforted each other, and Stephen’s family, and left, not knowing what the outcome would be. I remember crying all the way to the Opryhouse, a good 30 minute drive from where we were.

The rehearsal happened during which I was distracted and often thoughtful. But there was a peace that I didn't really understand. Later on that night, I found out that Stephen’s wife had taken him to the hospital only a few minutes after Bob and I had left. It turned out that he had contracted meningitis and was going to have to remain in the hospital for several days. Stephen survived the ordeal with all glory to God and I had learned a valuable lesson in obeying the Lord the first time He asks.

And three days later, when the Christ Church Choir backed up Dolly Parton on the Country Music Awards, just as scheduled and with me in the second row, Stephen was cheering from his hospital room.

When God says ‘wait’, He has something better in mind, and we do well to obey and not resist Him.

“For I know the plans that I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Beat Poetry and Gifts from God

I try to think about God and sometimes I realize that He has not only shown up, but has been there for quite a while.

I was driving home from work on one of our rainy New England evenings, thinking about the day, avoiding traffic and trying to relax. I had something on my mind that I had found on-line (wonderful thing, the Internet!). It was an audio file of some songs and poetry by a person whose work has become interesting to me lately. While no longer in the land of the living, some of his work does live on.

One thing that he did well was beat poetry, something for which I have acquired an appreciation. His stuff is good, but it doesn’t lift the Lord or in many ways, my spirits very well. So, the thought crossed my mind, what if this guy had done beat poetry that did praise Jesus?

My already active imagination began to work, and in my mind, I began to ‘hear’ this person’s voice doing beat poetry…

‘Praise God, praise God, praise God,
Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, He is Lord, Indeed!’

I knew that I would never be able to write down what I was hearing, but it was so good! I wished I’d had a recorder with me, but in the moment it would have been a distraction. Then I realized, this was a gift for me, only me, and only for the moment.

I relaxed and began to enjoy my private ‘poetry reading’. Just then, I turned a corner, being careful of the rain covered highway. I glanced up into the gray clouds and was greeted with the largest rainbow I had ever seen! Now, wishing for a camera, I tried to stay on the road while enjoying the view. And then it became clear again, this was a gift, only for me and only for the moment.

I found myself grateful to and for my God, who not only supplies my needs, but shows His love in such tender ways as well. Those moments are times when I experience worship.