The Year Without Opinions

About four years ago, during the last election cycle, the idea was presented to me to try an experiment. While testing myself in areas of personal growth are not that unusual, this one seemed a near impossibility. I was going to, for a time, not allow my usually clearly expressed views on things to be uttered. This resulted in what became known as ‘The Year Without Opinions’.

Now, for anyone who knows me, such an experiment especially during an election year is nothing short of an act of God. And, yes, it was such an act. My usually freely divulged ideas and suggestions were kept under wraps, as it turned out, for over a year.

This was a good social experiment for me, as I spoke less and listened more. I still had my opinions, kept in my own thoughts, but some of them became refined, defined, and adjusted as I took the time and effort to actually hear what other people might be saying.

I learned a lot, about myself and other people.

I learned that my opinions, while valid, needed time to mature. I learned that other people have a lot to say and while I may not agree with all they express, it has a right to be said. I learned that there are times when ‘Silence is Golden’, and that quiet really does allow for wisdom to surface. I learned that sometimes people just want to vent and don’t need advise, just a listening ear.

Well, here it is, four years later and another national campaign cycle is in full force. Barak and Mitt are going into the trenches and their supporters on both sides are taking up their positions…

Let the comments begin!

Maybe not, maybe more of us could benefit from a year with our opinions. Maybe our political conventions, conversations, and indeed the election itself could benefit from people who choose to attend to facts and don’t spend time trying so hard to prove themselves right. Sometimes we’re not right and have been so intent in the process that a lot of negative energy and hurt feelings have been produced, and resulted in a waste of time and resources.

Am I suggesting that we not talk at all? Certainly not! One of the most valuable things I learned is to think before I speak. My first thought was “Is this an opinion?”, If it was, I didn’t say it. That took lessons in self control, self discipline, and the beauty of silence to a whole new level.

Now the thought process goes like this; “Is this an opinion?”, which leads to “If it is, is it appropriate?”, which leads to “If it’s appropriate, is it necessary?” Silence and thought for that long can diffuse many an argument.

So, as a suggestion in this election season, stop, think, express lovingly, and let your opinion be known appropriately, in the voting booth. That might soothe many a rattled nerve and save many a strained relationship.